This matter is so
urgent that I have no choice but to publish the story from
abroad. First of all, I am in Turkey- working at an
archeological dig. Fans, I don't know anything about archeology, except
that it sometimes involves Roman tombs. But luckily, my job is less
about archeology and more about maps. I have to use a very big GPS unit
to take points of all Roman things in the area:
After taking points with the huge unit, I have to make lots of maps. For example:
After taking points with the huge unit, I have to make lots of maps. For example:
My day consists of hiking around the region and climbing into many many
tombs and sometimes even aquiducts. For instance, one day, we came
accross a small crevice in a mountain, but it actually turned out
to be a 45ft long tunnel, dug by the Romans to channel water!!! When I
went in, I crawled on my belly through water and bat droppings. At the
end, was a secret chamber!
Another time, we climbed a mountain and found about 500 Roman tombs:
(All the circled spots are tombs!)
But keep in mind fans, it is not always fun and games here. For example one night, I was sleeping in my bed, when I felt something touch my arm. I thought- OMG, my roommate is poking me with a pencil again!! But actually, it was not a pencil, but a huge, 5ft long snake, crawling up my pillow! I almost ran out of the room in my underwear!!! But quickly came back and ran out again with more clothes on!
Luckily, Jaime (my coworker) grabbed the snake by its tale and threw it on top of some laundry that was drying downstairs. Then, about 5 people went through my room looking for more snakes. I don't know why, but they especially looked through my tampons!
That's when I learned that Turkey is full of snakes, lizards, and even scorpios. Please refer to the following diagram:
But despite the scorpios,I live right in the middle of a Graeco-Roman city. The following picture was taken 5 feet outside of my bedroom:
One time, there was a 4.6 earthquake here and again I almost ran out of my room in my underwear!! But settle down fans, my underwear modeling days are over.
Anyway, let me tell you about my typical day. I get up at about 6.30am to have Turkish breakfast which consists of olives and especially eggs and cheese. Then, at about 7am, I frantically make maps that I was supposed to make the night before. By 7.30am, we get on the bus to go to a new site to look for ancient things.
Then, we look for ancient settelements or potteries. by about 10am, it's time for chai (tea). We always bring chai on all hikes b/c of Turkish custom. Please note again that at tea time, I look hotter than ever:
Sometimes we continue to hike for 10 hours without lunch!! But one thing is clear- there are many goats in the area, and I'm always happy to see them:
Another time, we climbed a mountain and found about 500 Roman tombs:
(All the circled spots are tombs!)
Then, I also found this artifact:
But keep in mind fans, it is not always fun and games here. For example one night, I was sleeping in my bed, when I felt something touch my arm. I thought- OMG, my roommate is poking me with a pencil again!! But actually, it was not a pencil, but a huge, 5ft long snake, crawling up my pillow! I almost ran out of the room in my underwear!!! But quickly came back and ran out again with more clothes on!
Luckily, Jaime (my coworker) grabbed the snake by its tale and threw it on top of some laundry that was drying downstairs. Then, about 5 people went through my room looking for more snakes. I don't know why, but they especially looked through my tampons!
That's when I learned that Turkey is full of snakes, lizards, and even scorpios. Please refer to the following diagram:
But despite the scorpios,I live right in the middle of a Graeco-Roman city. The following picture was taken 5 feet outside of my bedroom:
One time, there was a 4.6 earthquake here and again I almost ran out of my room in my underwear!! But settle down fans, my underwear modeling days are over.
Anyway, let me tell you about my typical day. I get up at about 6.30am to have Turkish breakfast which consists of olives and especially eggs and cheese. Then, at about 7am, I frantically make maps that I was supposed to make the night before. By 7.30am, we get on the bus to go to a new site to look for ancient things.
On the bus I look hotter than ever
Keep in mind, fans, that Hand of Fatima is a type of necklace I bought for 2 Turkish Lira (about $1.50) and it means good luck.Then, we look for ancient settelements or potteries. by about 10am, it's time for chai (tea). We always bring chai on all hikes b/c of Turkish custom. Please note again that at tea time, I look hotter than ever:
Sometimes we continue to hike for 10 hours without lunch!! But one thing is clear- there are many goats in the area, and I'm always happy to see them:
During the day, we often chill by cliffs
Can you spot the Roman tomb in the pic above??
Can you spot the Roman tomb in the pic above??
Once a week, we have a day off called market day. And rightly so, because in a nearby town, a huge market unfolds:
The market is cool
b/c it has 1-Lira Doner Kebab- which is a type of shishkabob that only
costs about $0.70 (that's 70 cents!!!). You can almost taste the kebab
in this pic:
But don't be alarmed
fans, we don't always go to the market on our day off. According to an
old tradition, on our first day off we hiked up a mountain called
Babaganush. Just kidding, it's actually called Babada- which means
Daddy mountain in Turkish. (Almost like dead dad, but a mountain.) On
interesting thing about this mountain is that it is about 18km away
from our campsite, so the roundrip distance of the hike is over 35 km.
Another interesting thing is that 35 km is equivalent to about
90239429834 miles.
You can probably sense my excitement in this picture, which was taken shortly after we started our hike at 5am:
(sorry the picture is blurry- it's b/c they have a very old version of MS Paint here)
Keep in mind that we weren't just hiking, but actually sprinting through the hills with about 5 liters of water and 23847324 vegetables and sandwiches in our bags!! we even had to carry the huge GPS unit to take some points!!! At around 1pm we reached the outer ridge
We finally got to the top at around 3pm (10 hours after left!!!). And guess what fans, there were two columns of rocks where you have to place a stone for good luck. There was an optical illusion there, because when placing a stone, I looked like an ostritch on stilts. I think this effect is caused by the fact that my legs are twice as long as my body:
Anyway I was so tired after the hike that I demanded to go to the beach on our next day off. Please contact the News sales team if you want to buy this picture:
And finally, some dissapointing news: I did not yet have violent diarrhea here. Instead I am constipated for days and have a fungus infection on my wrist that started to spread all over my arm.
But on the bright side, in the last few days, Chris had so much diarrhea, he had to get an IV with air bubbles from a Turkish hospital. There was even a brown stain on his bed that he claims came from some girl's period. But we all know where it really came from.
In conclusion, sometimes I am attacked by snakes, and other times- I look like an ostritch.
Back to News so full of urgency
You can probably sense my excitement in this picture, which was taken shortly after we started our hike at 5am:
(sorry the picture is blurry- it's b/c they have a very old version of MS Paint here)
Keep in mind that we weren't just hiking, but actually sprinting through the hills with about 5 liters of water and 23847324 vegetables and sandwiches in our bags!! we even had to carry the huge GPS unit to take some points!!! At around 1pm we reached the outer ridge
I was ready to take on Daddy.
Soon, we were on the snow banks!!!
Soon, we were on the snow banks!!!
If you look past my huge nose, you can see that the view was beautiful:
We finally got to the top at around 3pm (10 hours after left!!!). And guess what fans, there were two columns of rocks where you have to place a stone for good luck. There was an optical illusion there, because when placing a stone, I looked like an ostritch on stilts. I think this effect is caused by the fact that my legs are twice as long as my body:
Anyway I was so tired after the hike that I demanded to go to the beach on our next day off. Please contact the News sales team if you want to buy this picture:
And finally, some dissapointing news: I did not yet have violent diarrhea here. Instead I am constipated for days and have a fungus infection on my wrist that started to spread all over my arm.
But on the bright side, in the last few days, Chris had so much diarrhea, he had to get an IV with air bubbles from a Turkish hospital. There was even a brown stain on his bed that he claims came from some girl's period. But we all know where it really came from.
In conclusion, sometimes I am attacked by snakes, and other times- I look like an ostritch.
Back to News so full of urgency