DO NOT DISRESPECT MY HOUSEHOLD!!

Legal disclaimer: mom, this whole page is a lie and all pics are fabricated...

So last weekend my parental units left the state, and of course I had to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and throw a huge party. A couple of dj's brought their turntables and started spinning.  It was insane. banging. off the hook. And by 'off the hook', I mean it was actually just me getting drunk by myself while listening to my sony walkman.

Of the 10 people that did come, 5 were gothicals that I have never seen before. They helped themselves to my porch and a professional cereal-bowl-ashtray. They refused to hang out inside, with the other 5 attendees because they were 'alergic to the smoke of marijuana' that filled the vast indoors. Or because they did not know anyone there but needed a place to drink. Fortunately, nobody disrespected my household, because the majority of my 'party' took place in the jungle.

You see, Jeremy kindly brought over a gallon of jungle juice which he forgot to take with him b/c he left in a fleeing hurry. According to Jeremy, one could get wasted from merely smelling this exotic tropical drink. Perhaps this is why Cory suggested to have a Jungle Juice Chugging competition, but due to lack of contestants, the competition was postponed, indefinitely. 

Although 'jungle juice' is just a term for a drink, there is sufficient evidence to suggest that some people can take this word a bit too far. This evidence consists of Brendan.

Lets take a look at his jungle experience....Here are some important steps:

 

Step 1. Pass out next to a girl you've never met before...

 

Step 2. Start getting intimate with a dead, emulsified cat.

 

Step 3. Let the cat find the most appropriate spot.

 

Step 4. Start to attract jungle animals by putting on a big furry boa.

 

Step 5. Make andrea take care of the jungle dwellers while you sleep, you lazy, blue-slipper-wearing fuck!!!

 

Step 6. Remain unnoticed by disguising yourself as many palm trees!! 

 

Step 7. TASTE THE JUNGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

On an important sidenote that has aboslutely nothing to do with any of the above, my lucky streak of never being pulled over is finally over. Last night I got stopped doing 84 in a 50 zone. Due to the fact that I was "wrecklessly driving and endangering", TWO cops came out of the car, expecting to find me driving many drunk and naked teenagers. Fortunately, they discovered that the passengers of the car were actually my mom, my grandma, and my creepy russian ant!!! They were very sypathetic b/c they understood why I had to make the trip as fast and short as possible, and let me go w/out even checking my driving record. Nevertheless, I no longer have good speeding luck!!!

 

And on a second equally important sidenote:

ALL SERVER-RUNNING FANS OF MY WEBSITE MUST PARTICIPATE IN HOSTING!!!!! PLZ HOST MY FUCKING WEBSITE!!!!!!!!