Fans, do you
remember when I took the LSAT?
Recall that at the LSAT, I was specifically very gassy and fat, b/c of
my studying process and chocolates. This time, the tables have really
turned! Although I have been eating ferociously for weeks before the
test, when I got to the test center, I knew something was wrong. First
of all, The room smelled like ASS!!!!!!!
WTF, How I'm supposed to take some kind of test when I need to wear a gas mask to survive? Second of all, I knew what was wrong:
Basically, everybody who came to take the gre was a huge fat woman who loved math. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the test itself.
First of all, some questions asked me about algorithms- and unfortunately for me, this is all i remember from my algorithm class:
Second of all, the test asked about some crazy
algorithms I've never even heard of. For example, the Kuscouz minimum
spaning tree algorithm? Omg, I love cous cous with shishkabobs, but how
I'm supposed to know what is a spanning tree?
The test also asked about floating point numbers, and the only thing I know about floating is this cruise I took exactly a week before the GRE exam. It was a carribean cruise that I must discuss immediately.
#4: At night, they always had some kind of shows for old people. For example, one show had a contest called "Put the spoon on a rope through your shirt and underpants and pass it on!" Then, they had dance parties with a band called Modal Majic. I LOVE modal majic!!
#5: They also had commedy shows with Peter Sasso b/c he taught his wife to do a headstand in the shower!
#6: By the way, the cruise was FULL of fat people. You know how in other countries they make fun of americans for eating burgers and being fat?? Well it's true: I think some americans are so fat that they must actually eat their own fat to stay alive. Everyday the cruise buffet had burgers, hot dogs, and grilled fat. Some woman's ass was below her knees.
#7: Every night, the professional photographers came to take pictures of the fat and old people on the cruise. Each time there was a different setting. One time, a pirate was in all the pictures, another time- a big black gorilla.
Unfortunately, the pictures cost about $20/pic, so we couldn't afford to buy it. Here's one more romantic shot, this is where all the couples always took pictures of themselves kissing:
WTF, How I'm supposed to take some kind of test when I need to wear a gas mask to survive? Second of all, I knew what was wrong:
Basically, everybody who came to take the gre was a huge fat woman who loved math. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the test itself.
First of all, some questions asked me about algorithms- and unfortunately for me, this is all i remember from my algorithm class:
The test also asked about floating point numbers, and the only thing I know about floating is this cruise I took exactly a week before the GRE exam. It was a carribean cruise that I must discuss immediately.
For your
reference, here is the itenerary:
Fans I know what
you're thinking: that map looks WAAAYYY too nice to be on News.
Good point fans, but unfortunately, the News mapping team is on
maternity leave, so that's the best I can do.
So here are some key points about the cruise.
#1. The chinch LOVES to eat tortilla chips!!
#3. Whenever we went to our cabin there was a piece of poor re-appearing on the rim of the toilet seat:
So here are some key points about the cruise.
#1. The chinch LOVES to eat tortilla chips!!
#2. I look SOO
good in a bathingsuit!!
#3. Whenever we went to our cabin there was a piece of poor re-appearing on the rim of the toilet seat:
#4: At night, they always had some kind of shows for old people. For example, one show had a contest called "Put the spoon on a rope through your shirt and underpants and pass it on!" Then, they had dance parties with a band called Modal Majic. I LOVE modal majic!!
#5: They also had commedy shows with Peter Sasso b/c he taught his wife to do a headstand in the shower!
#6: By the way, the cruise was FULL of fat people. You know how in other countries they make fun of americans for eating burgers and being fat?? Well it's true: I think some americans are so fat that they must actually eat their own fat to stay alive. Everyday the cruise buffet had burgers, hot dogs, and grilled fat. Some woman's ass was below her knees.
#7: Every night, the professional photographers came to take pictures of the fat and old people on the cruise. Each time there was a different setting. One time, a pirate was in all the pictures, another time- a big black gorilla.
My favorite was
this gothic statue of liberty with lots of eyeliner:
Not to be outdone,
we took a portrait with our own props:
Unfortunately, the pictures cost about $20/pic, so we couldn't afford to buy it. Here's one more romantic shot, this is where all the couples always took pictures of themselves kissing:
Ok, I guess I'm up
to #8 now, which is: I LOVE the british virgin islands. It is SO pretty
there, I think I died a little when we left that island. omg fans,
please go there:
Why to all americans always go to St Maarten? By the way, BVI is SOO much better:
Did you know that with a snorkal, you can see all the fish in the water? Fans I know what you're thinking, which is "OMG did you catch the fish and squeeze its belly for caviar??" And the answer is no, fans, I did not do that.
Why to all americans always go to St Maarten? By the way, BVI is SOO much better:
We went snorkling
about 2984723 times. Here's a nice pic:
Did you know that with a snorkal, you can see all the fish in the water? Fans I know what you're thinking, which is "OMG did you catch the fish and squeeze its belly for caviar??" And the answer is no, fans, I did not do that.
#9: Puerto Rico was
pretty cool too
#10: During one of
the last days on the shit, we came to our room and saw that the room
service made this towel guy for us:
Of course, we made a much better towel man ourselves:
But we knew we were owned when the next day, we saw THIS:
Of course, we made a much better towel man ourselves:
But we knew we were owned when the next day, we saw THIS:
In conclusion, the
GRE is a very difficult exam, and the British Virgin island is the best
part of the cruise ship.
Back to News, so full of caviar
Back to News, so full of caviar